Five years
by cheesebucket
Summary: Rachel and Puck see each other again after 5 years apart.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: From the P/R drabble meme on LJ… ended up much longer than anticipated and will have a second chapter.**

**Prompt: "I fear I'm only interested in him because he reminds me of you. Does that mean I have a "type" or does it mean I still love you?"**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. **

He showed up stag, as always, hoping to score with a former cheerio (for a second or third time, probably). He sauntered into the gymnasium, trying not to look around at all the decorations (being excited about returning to your old stomping grounds is so _not_ badass) but he was amazed with how different the place looked. The bleachers had been replaced and the walls painted, not to mention they'd gotten new basketball hoops, meaning the place where he scratched their initials into the paint was dead and gone.

She chewed her lip nervously as she walked in with Ben on her arm. They'd only been dating for a few weeks, yet she'd somehow convinced him to fly all the way to Ohio with her so she wouldn't have to go alone. She never goes to any event alone, especially not after… _it_. She stopped him to fix his tie and ask him how she looked for the tenth time before walking through the gym doors. She couldn't see him, but she could feel him. She could _always_ feel him.

Ben kissed her temple and smiled at her before walking away to get them something to drink. She was amazed at how much he'd changed in the few weeks they'd been seeing each other. When she met him, he was just some badass bouncer at her favorite club in the city. Well, he still _was_ all those things, but he also happened to be an awesome boyfriend and an even better date. Every event she'd dragged him to, he'd gotten her drinks and smiled silently as she mingled and told stories about crazy things that happened backstage and on-stage.

As Ben walked off, she found an empty table and sat down, letting out a sigh. Before she could even take a good look around, she was being bombarded by half of her old glee club. Tina and Artie started yammering on about married life, Sam and Quinn were pulling out photos of their two year old, Christopher, and Finn and Santana just rolled their eyes as they ran their hands up and down the other's thigh (they were happily together as fuck buddies, and not embarrassed to let everyone know). Then they all started asking questions about Rachel's life—how was life on Broadway, was playing Elphaba everything she dreamed it'd be, was she engaged or married, with a kid on the way? Rachel just sat back in her chair, eyes wide as she tried to absorb all the information and questions being thrown at her. Just when she thought she might scream, Ben was at her side handing her a glass of red wine, which she promptly downed.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before smiling sweetly and speaking over the chatter at the table. "Everyone, this is Ben. He's a good friend of mine from the city." Her friends gave him the once over, and Finn raised an eyebrow as he leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Any chance he used to have a mohawk, Rach?" She turned to glare at him, rasping angrily, "Shut up, Finn. It's been five years, just don't, okay?" He nodded a little, taking a sip of his beer as something across the room caught his eye.

Puck was reenacting his old football victory dance for some past Cheerio who'd clearly gotten a boob job. Finn rolled his eyes, smirking as he elbowed San and nodded his head in Puck's direction to get her to notice. When she let out a loud laugh, Rachel and the rest of the table all turned their attention to Puck.

Rachel felt her breath catch her throat. She knew he'd be here. She'd hoped and prayed he wouldn't, but she knew he would. Any chance to show his old classmates he wasn't a Lima loser was a golden opportunity, in his mind. Bragging about working at one of the most popular nightclubs in Los Angeles had been a favorite pastime of his over the last few years. It also happened to work _wonders_ in getting the ladies into bed and out of their clothes (not that he needed any help in that department. He's still a sex shark).

She tried to swallow but her mouth felt like it was lined with sandpaper, so she stood up and excused herself from the table to get something to drink. Everything went fuzzy around her as she made her way to the drink table. She didn't even notice him until he had his hand on her shoulder and her eyes were meeting his.

"You look good, Rach." She nodded slowly, wanting to step away from him but unable to move her feet. "So do you, Noah. I see you're here alone." He just shrugged, dropping his hand back to his side. "Yeah, easier to find willing chicks that way, don't you think?"

She looked away from him to hide the hurt in her eyes. But he saw it, and immediately regretted what he'd said. "Look, I just mean… It's easier to be alone. That's all, I guess." He shrugged again and she turned to look up at him. "I brought my… Ben. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks." She tried to be discreet as she pointed in Ben's direction, then tried to ignore Noah's bitter laugh.

"Couldn't find anyone with a 'hawk as sweet as mine, huh Rach?" Her cheeks flushed red. "I'll have you know he's an incredible man. He has a steady job as a bouncer at my favorite club, he plays guitar in a band, and he's deeply talented."

His jaw clenched as he turned to take a good look at the douche who was like a less hot version of himself. "Sounds like you found the perfect guy, then. Congrats. Looks like you won't be having any repeats of that night." She shook her head, her lips tight as she looked down at her shoes.

"No, I don't anticipate Ben breaking up with me during a huge industry event. He's a perfect gentleman. Just like you _used_ to be." Looking away from him, she reached to grab a glass of wine from the drink table and chugged it faster than her first. He rolled his eyes. "Great. Then you've got it all figured out. Sounds like you're back to the fearless Rachel you used to be."

Worrying her lower lip between her teeth, she flicked her gaze up to meet his. She shook her head as her voice got eerily quiet. "No, I'm not. I'm afraid… that I'm only interested in him, because he reminds me of you." He refrained from letting out an audibly relieved sigh as their eyes locked. "Does that mean I have a type, or does it mean I still love you?"

He swallowed hard, reaching his hand out slightly to brush her arm. "Rach… We can't do this. Not here." Glancing over at her asshat of a date, he leaned in to speak lowly in her ear. "Please, come find me tomorrow. I'll be visiting Burt at the shop, and I really need to see you again." Her eyes were wide with shock when he pulled back to look at her. She nodded before she even realized what she was agreeing to, and picked up another glass of wine before returning to her table and her date, glancing back at Puck only once.


	2. Chapter 2

_It was the cocktail reception thrown for the first year theatre majors at NYU. In addition to her summer in the city, living with Noah, she'd had three days of orientation and was a mere two more from beginning classes. Noah had told her he was tired, and let her go along to meet up with Andrew, who she'd met in the summer advanced theatre program._

_She was at a fancy restaurant, sipping some fruity drink a professor had allowed her to order, while he was back at their apartment, chugging beer after beer. Imagining her among all those proper theatre patrons and actors and professors who were clearly more important and classy than him. Then he started pacing around the living room. _Who the fuck does she think she is? If she thinks I'm gonna spend the next 50 years sitting at home while she goes to these fuckin' theatre functions, she's got another damn thing coming. _He grabbed his keys and wallet and stomped out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him._

_A loud but muffled argument caught her attention from her place by the bar next to Andrew. After a moment, she realized why she'd recognized the voice when she saw her boyfriend stalking over to her. "Noah, what on earth are you doing here?" He pointed to Andrew. "This guy, here? He's the one you want. He's the fuckin' theatre nerd that's gonna be your knight in bright fuckin' shiny armor. It isn't gonna be me, babe. It's _never_ gonna be me."_

_Her eyes were filling with tears and she tried to lead him out of the room, hoping to avoid making a scene. "Wh-what are you talking about? Where is this coming from, Noah?" He shook his head, his fists clenched at his side. "Just had a fuckin' realization that we're done. I'm getting the hell out of this stupid city. Don't give a shit about Broadway or Times Square or Central Park or any of that crap. That's _your_ thing, and I'm fuckin' _over_ it." With that, he turned around and stormed out of the restaurant. She took one last look at his retreating form before turning to bury her face in Andrew's shoulder while he tried to comfort her._

_When she got home an hour later, all of his things were gone and he was already on a train back to Ohio._

She anxiously got out of her car in front of the old auto shop. She was so glad Ben had left that morning (_"I've gotta get some stuff done at home, but you should stay. You said you hadn't been back in five years!"_) If he'd still been in town, she definitely wouldn't have had the chutzpah to do this. To be here. To come see _him_.

He'd been praying all day that she'd show up. He was talking to Burt when he saw her walk through the garage door, and he immediately felt his palms start to sweat. _She looks even more beautiful than last night_. She bit her lower lip as she approached him and he muttered a quick apology to Burt as he slipped past him and met Rachel in the middle of the shop.

She smiled weakly at him. "Hi Noah." She looked down at the grease on the floor and he sighed. "Hey, Rach. Uh, I'm really glad you came."

Nodding, she looked back into his eyes. _Dammit, why does he still have to look so good?_ "Right, well, I figured it must be important. Do you want to get out of here, or something?" He ran a hand along his head and nodded slowly. "Y-yeah, we should get out of here. There's a coffeehouse across the street."

She smoothed her hands over her jean-clad thighs and turned to walk across the street, assuming he'd follow. (Of course he would, but he needed to keep a suitable distance so he could admire the view. She never used to wear jeans.)

Once inside, he ordered his coffee (black) and turned to her. "Still drinking that hazelnut shit?" She laughed and nodded before letting him order her coffee for her. They grabbed their drinks and he ushered her to a small table in a secluded corner. She sat down, chewing her thumbnail as he looked down at the tabletop.

"What did you want me to meet you for, Noah? I… I'm only in town for a few days, and I have a lot to do." He nodded. "I know, Rach, I'm only here a few days too, before I head back to LA."

Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "You're… living in Los Angeles? Doing _what_, exactly?" He rolled his eyes, smirking. "I'm actually just getting ready to finish architecture school. It's a five year program, and I had a little… detour." He stared down into his cup of coffee, knowing what was coming next.

Her eyes were blazing. "You know, that have architecture schools in New York. Jobs in architecture, too. And New York also happens to have a girl you _claimed_ to love." She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away from him to take a few deep, calming breaths.

"Fuck, Rach. What do you want me to say? I was a damn fool. I acted like an idiot, said some really shitty things, and fucked everything up. There was no way I could've fixed it."

"You could've come back, dammit!" She clamped a hand over her mouth as soon as she realized how loud she'd yelled.

He closed his eyes and took a breath. "I know, Rachel. I know how badly I ruined things between us, but—" She cut him off, shaking her head. "No, Noah, you _don't_ know how badly you ruined things. I gave you everything, for almost three years. Three years, Noah! And you threw it away, all because of some screwed up idea you had in your head that I was going to leave you, or that I was too good for you. How could you have thought that, even for a second?" She rested her elbows on the table and dropped her head into her hands, taking a deep breath and willing herself not to cry.

Swallowing hard, he took in her words. _All those damn words_. "Rach, listen. I _do_ know how much I fucked up. Trust me, I've spent the last five years killing myself over it. But you didn't come after me either, and you know me. You know I refuse to put myself where I'm not wanted." Her brow furrowed slightly as she looked up at him.

"You just… you said something insightful." He laughed lightly, nodding. "Yeah Rach, I do that sometimes. I've grown up a lot since we last saw each other. And look, I know I lost any chance of ever getting you back, but I was just thinking maybe…" He took a deep breath. "I'm moving back to New York when I graduate. And fuck, it'd be really nice to have a friend. And by a friend, I mean you. It'd be nice to have _you._"

She inhaled sharply, her eyes locked with his. "Noah, we… we can't just go back to the way things used to be. I've got a… Ben…." He rolled his eyes. "That guy is a total schmuck. He's like a fucking carbon copy of me. C'mon, you don't need imitation when you've got the real thing." Smirking, he flexed his biceps at her and grinned when she rolled her eyes.

He reached over to take her hand loosely in his and she bit her lip as she stared down at the connection, his flesh burning into her just as it had the night before, and five years before that. "Rach, c'mon, just tell me you want this as badly as I do." She looked up at him, her eyes swimming with confusion and frustration. "Noah, don't act like everything is going to be alright. It's just… it's just not. You broke my heart, okay?"

She gently pulled her hand from his and stood up. "Thank you for the coffee, Noah. I think I'd better be going." She picked up her cup and straightened her jacket. "When we're both in the same city, we'll see what the fates have in store for us." With that, she turned on her heel to weave her way through the tables toward the door. He stood up and called after her, "You'll find I'm an expert at manipulating fate, Rach!"


	3. Chapter 3

It had been nearly 10 months since she last saw him. She almost didn't believe her eyes when she looked across the street from her theatre; she almost thought it was Ben, who she'd broken up with mere weeks after the reunion. She let out a heavy breath and watched as it lingered in the cold mid-March air. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she hugged her coat to her body and mustered up as much courage as she could before carefully crossing the street.

He heard the clacking of heels and immediately turned, sensing a difference in this clacking from all the other heels in New York. His eyes met hers and his lips turned up into the first genuine grin to cover his face in almost six years. As she walked into the coffee shop and approached him, he folded up his newspaper and ran a hand over his head. She sat down across from him and unbuttoned her coat in silence, combing her fingers though her hair.

"Rachel," he breathed out, a smile plastered onto his face. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Hello, Noah. You… you finally made it back to New York."

Nodding, he looked her up and down (as much as he could above the table). "Yeah, been here for almost three months. I was wondering if I'd ever run into you." She smiled shyly with a shrug. "Well, now you have. Though I suppose it was me who ran into you…" Rolling his eyes, he took another sip of his coffee.

"S'really damn good to see you, Rach. Been thinking about you a lot." Blushing, she ducked her head and wet her lips. "I guess I should admit that I've been thinking about you too. Against my own will, might I add."

He smirked. _She can't get me out of her head just as much as I can't get her out of mine. Fuck yeah._ "Oh yeah? What have you been thinking about, Rach?" She lifted her head to look at him, one eyebrow raised. "I've been thinking about… just about how much you hurt me, Noah. About how much I've missed you and hated you over the last few years."

"Oh. Shit." He ran a nervous hand over his head, chewing the inside of his cheek. _So she's still pissed at me? After almost 6 years?_ "Fuck Rach, you're still mad at me? Are you ever going to forgive the dumbass kid I used to be?"

Her eyebrows knitted together with a mixture of anger, sadness, and confusion. "Noah, I'm not mad. I guess, not at you, at least. More… mad at myself." He sighed, frowning as he stared down into the black liquid in his mug. "Rachel, you have no reason to be mad at yourself. _I'm _the fuck-up."

Shaking her head, she tapped lightly on the table to get his attention and make him look up at her. "I'm mad at myself for not going after you. For not giving us a second chance. For waiting so long to even let myself think of you as something more than the terrible boy who broke my heart."

He blinked at her a few times, weighing his options before jerking his chair back and leaning over to cups her cheeks as he laid his lips against hers. Her eyes shot open in shock before she reached up to clutch the back of his neck as she returned the kiss with the same level of passion and need. When he pulled away a few moments later and settled back into his seat, breathlessly, he grinned smugly.

"So Rach… you done with not giving us another chance? Because I'm pretty fuckin' sure that _that_ was something worth going after."

She looked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her chest rising and falling with deep breaths, and smile brightly—the way she used to smile when she got solos in glee club all those years ago.

With a soft, light giggle, she let her gaze land on the table between them. "You know, this doesn't make everything okay." He bites the inside of his cheek and nods slowly.

"Yeah, Rach, I know. But I can make it okay. Give me a chance, and I'll make everything okay."


End file.
